Springfield Recipes

Monday, February 26, 2007

"If God didn't want us to eat in church, he would have made gluttony a sin."-- Homer, "King of the Hill (5F16)"

Bart's America Balls

2 cans of dog food, any brand
(do not substitute dry dog food)
roll the dog food into 1 1/2 inch balls and place them on a serving tray
garnish with tiny american flags on toothpics
makes 24 servings

Chief Wiggum's Chilli

5 gallons of water
quesosakatenango chili peppers from Guatamala (to taste)
combine ingredients in a large pot
cook until boiling
serve immediately
makes 5 gallons

Milhouse's Vaseline on Toast

2 slices of bread
3 tbsp. of vaseline

toast the bread to desired darkness
spread vaseline evenly on each piece of toast
makes 2 servings

Homer's Space Age(out of this world) Moon Waffles

1 package of caramel squares
2 cups waffle batter
1 bottle liqiud smoke
1 stick of butter
place caramel in the waffle iron
pour on waffle batter
add liquid smoke to taste
cook thoroughly
take the stick of butter and wrap the moon waffle around it
place it on a toothpic and serve
makes 1 unfortunate serving

Tom Collins Pot Pie

pie crust
tom collins mix
add cloves and tom collins mix to pie crust
makes 1 serving

The Good Morning Burger

18oz ground beef patty
6-8 tbl. of rich creamy butter
8 stripes of bacon
4 slices of ham
3 fried eggs
sizzle the ground beef, bacon, ham, and eggs on the grill.
place the beef on a bun, the top with bacon, ham and eggs.
soak in butter.
makes 1 wake up serving

Ned's "Nachos Flanders Style"

3 sliced cucumbers
1 cup cottage cheese

spread cottage cheese on ONE SIDE of each cucumber slice and place on a serving tray
makes approx. 24 servings

Ned's "Key to looking young" Anytime Snack

2 slices of white bread
1 glass of water on the side

dip the bread in the water as you eat your way to keeping your youthful looks
makes 1 serving

Marge's edible ear plugs

1 cup flour
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp ground cumin (Marge says 'what the hell'?)
1/2 cup water
mix flour, salt and cumin in a bowl
slowly work in the water, kneading the dough as you go
form into small shapes that can fit in your ear
cook in the oven until the timer dings
serves 12 people

Marge's Patented Happy Cracker Snack Platter

1 dozen Ritz crackers
1 can Cheese Whiz
1 jar of olives
1 jar of pimentos
place crackers on a serving tray
use olives as happy face eyes
use pimentos as happy face noses
create smiley mouths with spray cheese
makes 12 servings

Posted by Simpsons A Day at 5:12 PM 0 comments  

Maggie's Biography

Maggie Simpson's full name is Margaret Simpson. She is 1 year old, and according to the local grocery store, costs $847.63. Her first spoken word was "Daddy."

For being only 1 year old, Maggie Simpson has lived a full life. She shot Mr. Burns. She won a Cutest Baby contest. And she already has a nemesis -- Gerald, the baby with one eyebrow.

Substitute Pacifiers
Maggie is seen usually sucking on a pacifier. But when she's had to, she has found comfort sucking on other items:

Fried shrimp.
Krusty pacifier.
Bart's severed finger.
Flash card.
Chess piece.
Bart doll.
Herb's nose.
A cigarette.
A dreidel.
A giant tooth.
Diamond-studded pacifier.
Drink umbrella.
Christmas cookie.

Passing on the Pacifier
Maggie is generous with her pacifier, as well.
She has given it to other folks to suck on.
A bear
Lisa's pony
A snake
Mr. Burns

Maggie Shows Her Smarts
It's also possible that Maggie is a genius disguised in baby form. In some episodes, it is obvious she is more intelligent than she seems:

Knows what a VCR remote is used for.
Spelled out "E=MC sq" with toy blocks.
Communicated with bears.
Shows Lisa an "Aztec" flashcard after seeing the Olmec head.
Drove Homer's car.
Spelled "redrum" on blocks.
Saved Bart and Lisa from Willie.
Used fire extinguisher to put out curtains.

Posted by Simpsons A Day at 4:55 PM 0 comments  

Watch out, they're here!!! Simpsons Movie!

Monday, February 19, 2007

They're coming!!!!

Opens July 27, 2007. Woo-hoo!

Posted by Simpsons A Day at 8:59 PM 0 comments  

Pop Id'oh!

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Simon Cowell visits the Simpsons (FABF09 - Smart And Smarter).

He made Maggie cry when she "auditioned" for his nursery school.
The American Idol judge tells Maggie she can always work as a "sweater folder" in The Gap clothing store because she is not clever enough to get into the Nursery!

Cowell: And what's your name?
Marge: Maggie.
Cowell: I'm sorry, but why are you answering for her?
Marge: Maggie doesn't talk yet.
Cowell: Not a word?
Marge: Oh she says lots of words, like when she wants something, she says 'eh! eh! nyeh eh! eh!'
Cowell: Maggie, we're not a mime school. So we can't take a non-talker.

Cowell: I'm afraid your daughter is no longer welcome at our school. She's as common as an angry woman in a knibson play.

Lisa: So Maggie's not a genius?
Cowell: She could be. At sweeping up hair.
Homer: That's my baby jerk! (~hits Cowell~)
Cowell: You call that a punch. I felt it, but it was like "So what?"
Homer: (~hits Cowell~)
Cowell: Again with the nose, I have a chin you know.

Posted by Simpsons A Day at 3:08 PM 0 comments  

Homer, man of few *stupid* words

Monday, February 12, 2007

Shut up, brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-tip!
The sun? That's the hottest place on Earth.
There's a New Mexico?
Computer! Kill Flanders!
I hope I didn't brain my damage.
I want to be alone with my thought.
Operator! Give me the number for 911!
Television -- teacher, mother, secret lover!
Lord help me, I'm just not that bright.
I'm no supervising technician, I'm a technical supervisor.
What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.
I don't have to be careful. I got a gun.
D'oh! The bee bit my bottom. Now my bottom's big.
I bet Einstein turned himself into all sorts of colors before he invented the light bulb.
If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English.

Posted by Simpsons A Day at 2:16 PM 0 comments  

My butt does not deserve a website

Friday, February 9, 2007

Posted by Simpsons A Day at 5:17 PM 0 comments  

The Many Voices of Dan Castellaneta and Harry Shearer

Thursday, February 8, 2007

Too hilarious! Just watch! :)

Posted by Simpsons A Day at 9:03 PM 0 comments  

Five days is not too long to wait for a gun

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Posted by Simpsons A Day at 8:40 PM 0 comments  

Krusty Merchandise

Krusty Mug
Krusty Dolls
Krusty Alarm Clock
Krusty Pacifier
Krusty Home Pregnancy Test
Krusty Walkie-Talkies
Krusty Sulfuric Acid
Krusty Handguns
Krusty Non-Narkotik Kough Syrup
Krusty Non-Toxic Kologne

Posted by Simpsons A Day at 8:17 PM 2 comments  

Nerve gas is not a toy

Monday, February 5, 2007

Original Airdate: April 30, 1995 (Episode 2F32)

Posted by Simpsons A Day at 10:15 PM 0 comments  

Matt Groening is always on Homer's head (literally!)

Sunday, February 4, 2007

Posted by Simpsons A Day at 8:34 PM 0 comments  

Homer's Superbowl Ad

Posted by Simpsons A Day at 8:18 PM 0 comments  

I will finish what I sta

Original Airdate: October 24, 1991 (Episode 8F05)

Posted by Simpsons A Day at 7:54 PM 0 comments  

I will not eat things for money

Saturday, February 3, 2007

Original Airdate: January 14, 1993 (Episode 9F10. Written by Conan O'Brien)

Posted by Simpsons A Day at 1:26 PM 0 comments  

Coffee is not a drink for kids!

Friday, February 2, 2007

Original Airdate: December 17, 1992 (Episode 9F09)

Posted by Simpsons A Day at 8:29 PM 0 comments  

Signs Around Springfield

"Evil women in history from Jezebel to Janet Reno." posted outside church

"You must have proper ID or exact change." a sign on the beer stand whenHomer eats the world's hottest chili pepper

"The Springfield Historical Society: Where History Comes Alive (metaphorically)"

"Piercing Shop: If it dangles, we'll punch a hole in it."

"No Shirt, No Shoes, No Salvation." outside the church

"Deadbeat Dad Beat Dead." headline at the Springfield shopper

"SPRINGFIELD GENERAL HOSPITAL: Quality care or your autopsy free."

"Eye Carrumba." where Bart goes to get his glasses

"There's something about the Virgin Mary." a church sign

"Native American Ice Cream (Formerly Big Chief Crazy Cone)"

"Newark Newark - Hotel/Casino"
"Convention Hall 1 - Candy Convention. Convention Hall 2 - Candy Shaped Rat Poison Convention"

"Springfield Psychiatric Clinic: Because there may not be bugs all over you!"

"Springfield Wild Animal Park--Born Free, Then Caged"

Posted by Simpsons A Day at 4:40 PM 0 comments  

Mr. Burns is nĂºmero cinco

Burns, Charles Montgomery
Net Worth: $8.4 billion
Source: Energy
Age: 104
Marital Status: Single, one bastard child.
Hometown: Springfield, U.S.A.
Education: Yale University, B.S.

Owner and operator of the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant for more than 50 years; also water works and a hotel on Baltic Avenue. Saved millions by canceling company's prescription drug plan, but reinstated same after assistant Smithers' thyroid condition brought him to the brink of death. Bought the Frank Gehry-designed Springfield Concert Hall from the city and turned it into a prison. Struggling Monty Burns Casino chain purchased this year by MGM Mirage for $2.1 billion. Has every disease known to man, and survives only because they perfectly counteract one another, an extremely rare medical condition known as "Three Stooges Syndrome." Credits longevity to Satan. Member since 1989.

Posted by Simpsons A Day at 4:01 PM 0 comments  

99 Luftballons For a Buffoon

Posted by Simpsons A Day at 3:01 PM 0 comments  

I Will Not Bury the New Kid.

Thursday, February 1, 2007

Don't we just love Bart for being such a li'l bastard?!

He's such a smart cookie for a scoundrel. And he's only 10! Imagine what he's like when he's 30. Maybe a pitiful, shameful stinker? But the good thing is he doesn't grow up to be like it, so we can always see him as a 10 year-old bastard we all love to squash.

Posted by Simpsons A Day at 4:32 PM 2 comments