Mr. Burns is número cinco

Friday, February 2, 2007

Burns, Charles Montgomery
Net Worth: $8.4 billion
Source: Energy
Age: 104
Marital Status: Single, one bastard child.
Hometown: Springfield, U.S.A.
Education: Yale University, B.S.

Owner and operator of the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant for more than 50 years; also water works and a hotel on Baltic Avenue. Saved millions by canceling company's prescription drug plan, but reinstated same after assistant Smithers' thyroid condition brought him to the brink of death. Bought the Frank Gehry-designed Springfield Concert Hall from the city and turned it into a prison. Struggling Monty Burns Casino chain purchased this year by MGM Mirage for $2.1 billion. Has every disease known to man, and survives only because they perfectly counteract one another, an extremely rare medical condition known as "Three Stooges Syndrome." Credits longevity to Satan. Member since 1989.

Posted by Simpsons A Day at 4:01 PM  


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