Maggie Simpson's full name is Margaret Simpson. She is 1 year old, and according to the local grocery store, costs $847.63. Her first spoken word was "Daddy."

For being only 1 year old, Maggie Simpson has lived a full life. She shot Mr. Burns. She won a Cutest Baby contest. And she already has a nemesis -- Gerald, the baby with one eyebrow.

Substitute Pacifiers
Maggie is seen usually sucking on a pacifier. But when she's had to, she has found comfort sucking on other items:

Fried shrimp.
Krusty pacifier.
Bart's severed finger.
Flash card.
Chess piece.
Seatbelt.
Bart doll.
Herb's nose.
A cigarette.
A dreidel.
A giant tooth.
Diamond-studded pacifier.
Drink umbrella.
Christmas cookie.

Passing on the Pacifier
Maggie is generous with her pacifier, as well.
She has given it to other folks to suck on.
Bart
Lisa
A bear
Homer
Lisa's pony
A snake
Mr. Burns

Maggie Shows Her Smarts
It's also possible that Maggie is a genius disguised in baby form. In some episodes, it is obvious she is more intelligent than she seems:

Knows what a VCR remote is used for.
Spelled out "E=MC sq" with toy blocks.
Communicated with bears.
Shows Lisa an "Aztec" flashcard after seeing the Olmec head.
Drove Homer's car.
Spelled "redrum" on blocks.
Saved Bart and Lisa from Willie.
Used fire extinguisher to put out curtains.

They're coming!!!!

Opens July 27, 2007. Woo-hoo!

Simon Cowell visits the Simpsons (FABF09 - Smart And Smarter).

He made Maggie cry when she "auditioned" for his nursery school.
The American Idol judge tells Maggie she can always work as a "sweater folder" in The Gap clothing store because she is not clever enough to get into the Nursery!



Cowell: And what's your name?
Marge: Maggie.
Cowell: I'm sorry, but why are you answering for her?
Marge: Maggie doesn't talk yet.
Cowell: Not a word?
Marge: Oh she says lots of words, like when she wants something, she says 'eh! eh! nyeh eh! eh!'
Cowell: Maggie, we're not a mime school. So we can't take a non-talker.


Cowell: I'm afraid your daughter is no longer welcome at our school. She's as common as an angry woman in a knibson play.


Lisa: So Maggie's not a genius?
Cowell: She could be. At sweeping up hair.
Homer: That's my baby jerk! (~hits Cowell~)
Cowell: You call that a punch. I felt it, but it was like "So what?"
Homer: (~hits Cowell~)
Cowell: Again with the nose, I have a chin you know.

Too hilarious! Just watch! :)

Original Airdate: April 30, 1995 (Episode 2F32)

The Simpsons - Mastercard Ad - video powered by Metacafe

Don't we all just love this ad?

Original Airdate: October 24, 1991 (Episode 8F05)

Burns, Charles Montgomery
Net Worth: $8.4 billion
Source: Energy
Age: 104
Marital Status: Single, one bastard child.
Hometown: Springfield, U.S.A.
Education: Yale University, B.S.

Owner and operator of the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant for more than 50 years; also water works and a hotel on Baltic Avenue. Saved millions by canceling company's prescription drug plan, but reinstated same after assistant Smithers' thyroid condition brought him to the brink of death. Bought the Frank Gehry-designed Springfield Concert Hall from the city and turned it into a prison. Struggling Monty Burns Casino chain purchased this year by MGM Mirage for $2.1 billion. Has every disease known to man, and survives only because they perfectly counteract one another, an extremely rare medical condition known as "Three Stooges Syndrome." Credits longevity to Satan. Member since 1989.

Don't we just love Bart for being such a li'l bastard?!

He's such a smart cookie for a scoundrel. And he's only 10! Imagine what he's like when he's 30. Maybe a pitiful, shameful stinker? But the good thing is he doesn't grow up to be like it, so we can always see him as a 10 year-old bastard we all love to squash.